I’ll be Right There

Computer and Sandal“I like your Halloween costume,” my friend said, “but isn’t 9:30 A.M. on Thursday morning an odd time to go to a costume party?”

At first, I didn’t realize she was speaking to me, but a quick glance around revealed I was the only other customer in the small, family-owned computer store.

“I haven’t seen anyone dressed as miss-matched as you are for a long time,” my friend continued. “Today, most folks dress up as Spiderman or Wonder Woman. I really like the look of those black support hose with your sandals, though, and that looks like one of John’s old shirts. I remember because my husband had one like it back in the seventies. Your hair is different, too—kind of a bed head look, huh? Oh, yes, you’ve got a good, spooky look going for Halloween.”

My excuse? My computer was fixed, and I could get it! What were the chances I would see anyone I knew if I made a fast trip to the store? Turned out the chances were good for I met three other friends during my return trip to my car. At least I hope they are still my friends.

With Lemon, Please

With Lemon

John and I recently traveled with another couple to a different area of the United States. We were enjoying a quiet dinner conversation in a very nice, fairly upscale restaurant when suddenly I heard loud slurps and gulps. I tried to ignore the noise at first, but the slurping and gulping became louder and louder. I looked around the room for the source of the rude sounds, and saw all eyes were staring at our table.

I realized John was the source of the noise. A glass of brown, fizzy liquid was erupting, much like a volcano, from John’s glass, and he was unsuccessfully attempting to stop the overflow with a straw. The sticky substance soon spilled off the table onto our laps.

John now knows if he is in an area of the country where a lemon slice is placed on the rim of a glass of cola, he needs to pay attention and remember he ordered a cola–not ice tea. Adding artificial sweetener to cola might be an excellent middle school science fair project for a grandchild, but it was not a good idea for Grandpa to do so in a public restaurant.

A Hamburger, Please

Hamburger

While it is true I spent a lot of time doing laundry, I still managed to find time to work in an office and to occasionally go out for lunch. One day I was especially hungry because I skipped breakfast. The digital minutes on my computer slowly counted down to noon as I typed still another boring contract. At last noon arrived, and my son and I met for lunch.

“I’ll have my usual, a hamburger with tomatoes, onions, lettuce, and mayo,” I told the young girl who took my order. In my hungry state, I ate half my hamburger before I realized it tasted different. I thought perhaps the mayonnaise was different and pulled the bun apart.

However, the mayo was good, the tomatoes were firm, and the onion was sweet. But, where was the beef? (I knew how the lady in the old Wendy’s commercial felt.) My son was surprised I didn’t miss the meat until after I ate half the sandwich. Did I mention I was really hungry? My son also found my mealtime misadventure funnier than I did.

I pray those of us who have food will always share with those who are hungry.

What’s for Dinner?

?????????????

Grandpa and I were sharing a meal with the grandchildren.

“Grandpa, is that a frog above your head?” my young grandson asked. Alarmed, I looked at the wall above my husband’s head. Sure enough, it was a frog—a little one, but still a frog.

Once the problem was identified, I wasn’t sure how to solve it. I certainly didn’t want to scare the frog. It might hop into the middle of the spaghetti. I was pretty sure I knew what red sauce would look like on white dining room walls. What if it confused the salad for a lily pad?

Finally, I stood on a chair, and armed with a sauce pan and lid, skillfully trapped the jumping amphibian and relocated him to the great outdoors. We finished the meal in peace.

Later, after my daughter and her children were home, my phone rang. “The kids said you had a frog for dinner. I can’t believe you got them to eat frog legs. All I can get them to eat is chicken nuggets,” my daughter said.

Clearly, what happens at Nana’s needs to stay at Nana’s.

Is that my Phone?

Phones

It was time for a new cell phone. I could not open a picture of my young grandson who lived a full ten-hour drive from me. I blocked six hours off of my calendar and suggested my husband do the same. (We have matching his and her cell phones with the hope one of us will understand how they work.)

Before the shopping trip I reviewed cell phone terms such as data plan, 4g, 5g, 6g, megabytes, arbitration, access charges, debtor, assignee, annual percentage rate, dispute resolution…. With much trepidation, we entered the store.

There were many decisions to make. What type of phone? What data plan? How did we want to finance? Did we want insurance? We wanted the best bargain.

Mid-morning, I took a blood pressure pill– grateful I had thought to bring it from home. At last we left the store with our new phones, house and car chargers, phone covers, and a sixteen-page document with very small print which we had signed. I hoped we had not signed away the dog.

Was it worth it? You bet, and I’ve got pictures of my grandchildren if you are interested.